*Warning: Not proofread. Sorry in advance.
My confidence has plummeted, yes.
But now, I’m trying to revive it.
I have been thinking about my future a little too often than usual lately.
Well, this is the main point of me being under load in school anyway.
I want to figure out what I really want to do..
How I see myself in the future..
What can keep me on my toes and be a way for my constant hunger for self-improvement.
I am still weighing the pros and cons of what it is I am thinking of doing.
One of which is to shift courses.
I am currently a Marketing Management student at a university here in the Philippines.
It is not that I dislike my course but I feel a bit obliged to go to school.
Not because classes are boring because a lot of Marketing professors are actually funny but because it just doesn’t interest me enough for me to want to learn something about it and for me to actually feel excited every morning or afternoon to go to class.
When people ask me even before what I want to do in the future, I always tell them that I do not know and that all I know is that I want to travel and travel someday.
They normally would just tell me that when I work and earn my own money, I can travel afterwards.
Why didn’t I take up Tourism for college?
I know that before, my sister wanted to take up Tourism but my mom didn’t want her to.
Little did I know that she didn’t even insist taking it up because she actually wanted to take up Culinary Arts just a little bit more than Tourism.
And so she did.
Since then, I thought that no matter what I say, my mom wouldn’t actually allow me to go through with it.
I just learned about this yesterday!!
Well, I haven’t actually tried telling my parents what I plan to do yet cause I wanna be sure of it before I actually do.
No matter what though, I still plan to learn about my father’s company.
Not taking up a course related to it doesn’t mean that I wont handle or manage it somehow in the future.
Besides, I owe a lot of things to it.
And as for crossing the road, my current university doesn’t offer Tourism.
The sister school of it, does.
The sister school is just literally across the street of my current school hence, the title.
If I actually transfer schools, my course would require me to wear a uniform.
My uniform would be a corporate attire.
It doesn’t bother me at all.
Actually, it is a big bonus for me!
I find corporate attire classy and sexy at the same time!
That is it for now.
I owe you an explanation for this.
I’ll give a brief background on as to why I said in my previous post that I was depressed.
So yesterday, January 27, I received an e-mail about the student exchange program I applied for.
And yes, the result was not what I wanted.
I can blame no one but myself.
A gazillion reasons came into my head on as to why and how incapable I am.
Even though I dislike having negative thoughts, it just rushed right into my mind.
Maybe I expected a bit too much?
Last time I applied for it, I was wait-listed.
After weeks, the person in charge for the exchange program personally called me to ask if I was still interested and that he wanted to nominate me for the exchange program.
For the whole university, he was only allowed to nominate three.
And I was one of them.
Well, that was the main reason on as to why I really expected a lot.
I know that it was such a great opportunity and the mere fact that I was nominated for it is a big thing but I just can’t help but pity myself for a while.
But luckily, my depression was nothing serious.
It took a toll that night.
I had a good and silent cry.
Told no one yet but my best friend.
Well, until now, I haven’t told anyone yet.
I want to “move on” first before I tell anyone.
If someone asks though, I’m still going to tell the truth.
I think it will take a little time to repair my self-confidence.
Lesson: Don’t expect too much!! HAHA.
It is never wrong to expect but keep in mind that not what you want, you can always get.
Right, right? 🙂