February 20, 2014
A few days back, I was thinking about what age I would want to have my first child.
I was thinking around 28 years old.
I’m currently 20.
Before, I really wanted three children.
But then because I really really want to give my children enough attention and a quality life, I was thinking of having just one or two at most.
I want my first child to be a girl.
Because as a woman, I think I can understand her better.
And since I am a new mom, that would be advantageous than having a son as the first child.
I also want to dress her up!
But then again..
Having a daughter also has another side.
I think this article sums it up:
I Really Hope My Future Child Isn’t A Girl
I hope I never have a daughter.
If I did, I’d be worried sick all the time of her walking alone at night wearing skirts. I’d be sorry for all her hormone-related woes – her sadness, her fears, her body image trouble, her fertility, the purity of her body and her mind and her soul. I’d be helpless in securing her future happiness, because it doesn’t lie so much in her own career path or intellect as much as it does in her meeting and being with a decent guy who would never hurt her.
What am I going to do if she turns out to be below-average in her looks? How can I lie to her face every day, this person that is partially me, and tell her that no, looks don’t matter, that inner beauty does, and she’s beautiful on the INSIDE and that’s all that matters?
What am I going to do when she’s going through puberty, and asks me why suddenly all the boys are starting to pay more attention to her? Do I dare tell her the truth about what men want? That the older she gets the less she should learn to trust them? That at first glance she’s more often than not just a piece of meat out for grabs?
What am I going to do when she goes to college, and goes to parties and gets drunk, and hot-blooded males start to make sexual advances toward her and she can’t tell the fine difference between the Polite No and the Tentative Yes?
What am I going to do when she goes to work, and meets men who are more senior in the firm, who have families but like what they see (God forbid this must mean she’s not butt ugly)? How can I teach her to walk the thin line between the use and abuse of her female power to climb the corporate ladder?
What am I going to do when she’s trying to settle down, and her biological clock is ticking, but she thinks it’s a sin to believe that because feminism has taught her that it’s important to be independent and successful, ON HER OWN, so that she doesn’t “need” to “belong” to anybody? And never truly will?
What am I going to do when she has children, when she’s pressured by a male-dominated society to go back to work after merely a couple weeks of maternity leave, and leaves her child in the care of a total stranger? How will her child possibly bond with her, know her, love her?
I hope she doesn’t have a daughter, either.
I hope I have a son. Because then he can work as hard as he likes, eat as badly as he wants, and sleep as little as he needs—looks and youthfulness matter less to him than money and social status. Because then he can bang as many women as he likes, because that would make him a rock star among his peers and win him respect. Because he can be single for all his life and still have a blast and die happy. Because he can run shirtless down a street and wouldn’t end up with child as a victim of sexual violence or just shit outta luck. Because he doesn’t need to lean in anywhere. Because he wasn’t made from some asshole’s ribs.
-END OF ARTICLE-
After reading this..
The points really struck me.
I am now re-considering wanting to have a daughter!
But seriously though..
No matter what gender my first baby will be, I can never be less than ecstatic when he or she’s born. 🙂
How about you?
February 6, 2014
My sister (Cams) and I slept over at our eldest sister’s (Carmi) home last night.
Even though it was a weeknight, we chatted until 12 MN!
We cut our conversation short because my eldest sister had less than 4 hours left to sleep before she needs to prepare for work.
One of our topics was how am I supposed to tell my parents about my want to study Tourism instead of Marketing Management which I’m taking up right now and Customs Administration which my dad wants me to take up for our family business.
To cut the chase, we agreed on not telling our parents first.
What I’ll do is that I’ll get all the requirements needed by myself and have it processed first.
Then, I’ll take up the entrance exam.
If I pass, that will be the only time I’m going to tell them about my want to change my course.
So for now..
My only concern is that I NEED to pass that entrance exam.
I need to pass because I badly want that course.
I have to study for the exam while not getting their attention.
I am not sure.
I’m going to try answering random tests online I guess.
It’ll really mean a lot to me.
February 5, 2014
Today, I started with my law of attraction.
What would I like to attract?
A good future.
Even though I have been talking about it on my last few posts, I will still explain it a bit.
I would like to shift courses.
From Marketing Management, when I pass the entrance exam, I will be under a Tourism Management program instead.
This is so because I realized just a few days back what and where I would really like to see myself someday.. and that is being a cabin crew for an international airline.
My law of attraction basically involves researching about the industry, my dream company *Emirates Airlines*, cabin crew tips, interview questions and cabin crew testimonies.
I have just started today but I’ve already learned a lot.
Also, I gained a deeper understanding about what a cabin crew really is.
What other people can see are only the glitz and glamour of the job but it is more than that.
The cabin crew are not just there for display.
They are the ones responsible for everyone on the plane.
They serve and think of everyone before themselves.
To be a cabin crew, you have to be selfless, alert, kind in every way and most of all, patient.
For all the testimonies I’ve read, I know that I still have a long way to go before I can be the best flight attendant I can be.
One thing I can assure myself though is that I will not stop until I reach my dream and not only be a better cabin crew but also a better individual.
That is it for now ^^
February 2, 2014
Last night, the two sons of my brother slept at my sister and I’s room.
For them to sleep early because when they sleep with their parents, they sleep late.
I woke up earlier than usual today given that it is a Sunday.
As soon as my sister and I woke up, we readily heated the soup from our dinner last night and cooked breakfast.
Of course, we fed our nephews first then readied ourselves to go to the mall.
My sister and I just wanted to chill out of the house.
Since there was a very exciting basketball game that will take place at the arena beside the mall we were going to, we decided to check out the prices because we wanted to watch.
When we got there, the line was soooooooooooo long and they were no seats left!
And that is left were standing tickets – we didn’t wanna stand up for 2 hours!
We then decided that we let this basketball game pass for now.
Our late lunch was from Kenny Rogers.
Of course, the discussion for my supposed transfer was not left out!
I also texted my eldest sister about what she thought about it.
Before I slept, I received a text from my brother-in-law that really made me think..
Follow your passion. It will set you free. Que sera sera
February 1, 2014
I still haven’t 100% decided if I would shift courses or not.
I’m really torn.
But since I believe that one should always hope for the best but expect the worst, I was looking for other reasons to not push through with shifting courses.
The funny thing is that instead of coming up with more cons, I still listed more pros than cons!
Like for every con I can think of, I am able to think of two pros!
Is it a sign?
Yes, yes? 🙂
I even tried tossing a coin yesterday cause I am really confused.
For the next few days, I really plan to think about it more.
I’m actually giving myself until this week to decide.
Why am I rushing myself?
Because if I do shift, I have to fix my requirements and study for an entrance exam.
Yes, another exam.
Before I went into my first year of college, I actually took an entrance exam for the school I might transfer to.
I was actually considering it to be my school.
Though the course I applied for that time is different from what I want to shift to now.
That is about it for now.
*Warning: Not proofread. Sorry in advance.
My confidence has plummeted, yes.
But now, I’m trying to revive it.
I have been thinking about my future a little too often than usual lately.
Well, this is the main point of me being under load in school anyway.
I want to figure out what I really want to do..
How I see myself in the future..
What can keep me on my toes and be a way for my constant hunger for self-improvement.
I am still weighing the pros and cons of what it is I am thinking of doing.
One of which is to shift courses.
I am currently a Marketing Management student at a university here in the Philippines.
It is not that I dislike my course but I feel a bit obliged to go to school.
Not because classes are boring because a lot of Marketing professors are actually funny but because it just doesn’t interest me enough for me to want to learn something about it and for me to actually feel excited every morning or afternoon to go to class.
When people ask me even before what I want to do in the future, I always tell them that I do not know and that all I know is that I want to travel and travel someday.
They normally would just tell me that when I work and earn my own money, I can travel afterwards.
Why didn’t I take up Tourism for college?
I know that before, my sister wanted to take up Tourism but my mom didn’t want her to.
Little did I know that she didn’t even insist taking it up because she actually wanted to take up Culinary Arts just a little bit more than Tourism.
And so she did.
Since then, I thought that no matter what I say, my mom wouldn’t actually allow me to go through with it.
I just learned about this yesterday!!
Well, I haven’t actually tried telling my parents what I plan to do yet cause I wanna be sure of it before I actually do.
No matter what though, I still plan to learn about my father’s company.
Not taking up a course related to it doesn’t mean that I wont handle or manage it somehow in the future.
Besides, I owe a lot of things to it.
And as for crossing the road, my current university doesn’t offer Tourism.
The sister school of it, does.
The sister school is just literally across the street of my current school hence, the title.
If I actually transfer schools, my course would require me to wear a uniform.
My uniform would be a corporate attire.
It doesn’t bother me at all.
Actually, it is a big bonus for me!
I find corporate attire classy and sexy at the same time!
That is it for now.
I was tidying up my work space yesterday and the table beside my bed.
While I was tidying it up, I realized that I had a lot of my dream home ideas written down.
Because it was written on a notebook, I figured that time will come that I might have filled in all the blank pages and not remember that I wrote those there.
And so I sketched.
Per idea that I wrote, I drew it on a regular sized notebook page and tore it (beautifully) from the notebook and filed them according to category.
Even though I wasn’t able to sketch everything (because I write on different notebooks), I know that someday I will be able to find all my ideas and be able to sketch and file for the future. 🙂
And even if I’m a bit lacking in the artistic department, I know that in the future, I will still be able to decipher my ideas.
Yes, I prefer the term decipher.
Last night, I started watching the season 1 of Suits.
I actually have downloaded the first season months before but because I was watching a korean drama at that time and was reading novels, I didn’t have time to watch it and it eventually slipped my mind.
And because I just finished my last book, I decided to watch a few episodes of it..
Or maybe half of the season?
Actually, the latter half of the season was saved on my laptop and my laptop was on the table across my bed.
Which means I have to get up to be able to get it.
And because I am
a bit lazy, I didn’t bother getting up for it.
Besides, it was already past 2 in the morning when I finished episode 6!
Anyway, I finished episode 7 and half of episode 8 this morning.
I shall continue watching now.