When do I usually write? I honestly write most of the time. It is just that when I experience extreme emotions, I write it on a piece of paper rather than type it. Think of it as saving myself from embarrassment and saving you from reading such things.
And maybe now you’re wondering what has happened to me these past months and why am I actually writing right now..
All I can say is that A LOT has happened. A LOT HAS CHANGED. From my college life to my social life to my bucket list, my travel experiences, my (love) life?? and even my haircut!!
These past months have been a roller coaster ride for me. I have experienced the most extreme emotions I have ever had EVER in my life. (I know, that’s redundant but I have to prove my point here!) These are not necessarily negative things but neither is everything positive.
It has been exactly 10 months since my last personal blog and though I cannot share with you everything that has happened because well.. I can’t remember everything or maybe I don’t want to remember everything? I’ll try and give you a jist of everything.
My views, values and morals have been challenged. My character was really tested because of the opportunities and situations that came my way. I am no superwoman but I believe that though that is the case, we still have the power to choose. It is important to never lose sight of yourself and the self that you want to be. At the end of the day, I think it will always boil down to “Did you do what you wanted to do but is within the “path” you want yourself to take? And while at it, did you not hurt any one with or without their knowledge?”. That’s a thought to ponder on.
Experience is the best teacher they say. But I believe too that prevention is better than cure. One need not experience everything for them to learn. It is best to learn from other’s mistakes to save yourself from the consequences.
I, too, have questioned myself a lot. I think this has got to be my biggest challenge. Admittedly, I still haven’t gotten over this hurdle until this point. I have been so reliant on how others think of me and it has made me over-think more than usual or more than what is “acceptable”. Because of over-thinking, my moods are sometimes unpredictable and there are times when I have tantrums and start petty fights with some people who I don’t think gives me enough attention. I become sarcastic, give them the silent treatment or just simply act cold to them. And well.. that is unfair for them. They don’t deserve that and I shouldn’t demand for anything since nothing is really official. Sometimes I just feel that I’m being put on reserve but there are no perks to being this kind of reserve.
Expectations lead to disappointments but there are times where I really can’t help but expect or at least hope for it. And when it doesn’t happen, of course, it affects me. I try not to get affected a lot and so far, it has worked a little for me. I know I have to work more on this.
Don’t get me wrong.. I know I can control it but before, when I do try to distance my self a bit, I actually end up totally pushing people away and I am tired of pushing people away. I am not used to controlled distances. I don’t pretend. I am my usual self when I’m with other people and I want them to be like that too. I dislike barriers.
When I want you in my life, I want you close. And if I start to believe that we have to have some distance and that this friendship or any other type of relationship needs that, I almost always end up too guarded to even want you close. I am a clingy person and a person of extremes. I don’t know if that is bad but.. I think I should learn to adjust. Or maybe distance myself if I feel like they don’t want me in their life? It’s hard to find out but I think I can act based on how they treat me and how they make me feel when with them or not.
Anyway I think this post is becoming too emotional
I have been going out a lot compared to before. I am used to going home straight after my classes just because I want to skip the traffic when going home at a later time. Now, I often go to school earlier to have lunch with friends. Or stay after class for dinner. Or even call them when I suddenly have breaks between classes. I have also been on a road trip Manila-Laguna-Tagaytay-Manila just because we wanted too. Also, because of one of my classes, I have been to Bohol with my classmates and it is just a different type of bonding for us. We learned so much about one another and ourselves too. It was unforgettable.
After 10 years of having long hair, I’ve decided to cut it short (not super short but 7-8 inches have been removed). I now sport a bob. Why? Well.. they say that women cut their hair when they’ve experienced something extreme that is out of the usual – and usually in a negative way and yea.. maybe that happened to me too? It is still fresh for me and there are times (often) that I still remember what happened but all I can say is that it worked somehow. I don’t know how to explain it but it really worked.
All of that plus more happened in a span of 10 months. I cannot describe how much these experiences have changed my outlook on life. But though I am far from perfect and from my ideal self, I am ready to continue changing for the better. Baby steps maybe but these are still steps.
Faith. Patience. Focus.
Lastly, I have made the OC organizer in me work too. I have been monitoring my finances again, trying to find opportunities to invest on, planning my future travels, updating my goals and planning on how to achieve them. I’m gonna let this stage of my life be about strengthening my character.
P.S I have my own car already too! just 8 days ago 🙂 yay to more adventures and hole-in-the-wall places 🙂
Finding time to write lately has been a challenge.
I usually leave the house early and get home late because of school.
Luckily today, I arrived a little more than an hour before my class and because I wasn’t able to eat breakfast at home, I went straight to Kenny Rogers – a minute or two from the entrance of my school.
Here is my breakfast:
I know it isn’t the healthiest out there but trust me, it is better than my breakfast for most days which usually consists of rice, fried egg, fried hotdog/spam, etc.
Lately, I’ve been trying to fix my fitness routine and diet.
Last Wednesday, I tried boxing for the first time.
It was better than expected.
My sister and I arrived at around 8:30 in the morning at the gym (but started at around 9:00).
Our training finished at around 12NN.
Without the breaks, I think we trained for at least 1 hour and 45 minutes which by the way is a BIG leap for me cause I’m not really a fan of strenuous activities.
I even hate jogging! —Our warm up was a 15 minute jog.
But yes, though it was hard for me and especially for my legs, I did it without cheating 😛
The day after the trial session, my body was a bit sore.
Yesterday (Monday), I had another boxing session.
This time, it was my first training as an official member.
I acquired a membership because aside from having discounts, I’d like it to be another pushing force for me to achieve my fitness goals.
I’m not sure what the difference was (aside for the increase in intensity) but I felt like I liked the sport even more.
It is tiring, yes.
But for some reason, I’d like the idea of me sweating because of working out.
There is this unexplainable feeling of accomplishment after the training and I actually don’t feel bad eating lunch afterwards.
Mind you, I didn’t binge eat!
I think that aside from being a physical workout, boxing also is a form of disipline.
Frankly, my right shoulder is a bit sore since yesterday.
I think it is because of my wrong form when punching or because I exerted a little too much effort.
Anyway, I know this will pass.
The pain doesn’t bother me because I believe in the saying that soreness due to exercise is a reward and not a punishment.
I plan to go boxing twice a week.
(Mondays & Wednesdays – or maybe even Saturdays)
I am slowly progressing and watching what I eat slowly.
How about you? Have you found or do you have a sport or fitness routine? 🙂
Trust me, it feels great afterwards!
I guess you can tell by the title what this post will be about.
And yes, it is not misleading.
It is about family.
About my family in this case.
As a family, I can say that we are close when we are together and a little not-so-close when not.
I don’t mean literally okay!
It is just that when we’re together, we converse well but we don’t spend so much time with each other as we do before so we have less bonding moments now.
Usually when we get home, we go to our individual rooms and just go out again when it’s time to eat.
Sometimes we eat together at our veranda, sometimes we eat inside our rooms.
I know, I know….
A family should eat together but I don’t know how it started but we don’t eat at our dining table anymore.
When we are at the veranda, we use the foldable tables and monoblock chairs.
It has been like that for a long time now.
I woke up to a text this
Mom said that we should make house rules.
Rules for eating, bonding and the like.
My sister and I liked the idea.
Not only will it bring back the family time we used to have but it will impose discipline as well.
We plan to write down rules like eating together, 10PM curfew everyday unless you have a valid reason and things like family movie hours, studying time for the kids and also, a time for yourself.
I shall show you a brief outline on our house rules when they’re done.
How about you?
Do you have house rules too?