When do I usually write? I honestly write most of the time. It is just that when I experience extreme emotions, I write it on a piece of paper rather than type it. Think of it as saving myself from embarrassment and saving you from reading such things.
And maybe now you’re wondering what has happened to me these past months and why am I actually writing right now..
All I can say is that A LOT has happened. A LOT HAS CHANGED. From my college life to my social life to my bucket list, my travel experiences, my (love) life?? and even my haircut!!
These past months have been a roller coaster ride for me. I have experienced the most extreme emotions I have ever had EVER in my life. (I know, that’s redundant but I have to prove my point here!) These are not necessarily negative things but neither is everything positive.
It has been exactly 10 months since my last personal blog and though I cannot share with you everything that has happened because well.. I can’t remember everything or maybe I don’t want to remember everything? I’ll try and give you a jist of everything.
My views, values and morals have been challenged. My character was really tested because of the opportunities and situations that came my way. I am no superwoman but I believe that though that is the case, we still have the power to choose. It is important to never lose sight of yourself and the self that you want to be. At the end of the day, I think it will always boil down to “Did you do what you wanted to do but is within the “path” you want yourself to take? And while at it, did you not hurt any one with or without their knowledge?”. That’s a thought to ponder on.
Experience is the best teacher they say. But I believe too that prevention is better than cure. One need not experience everything for them to learn. It is best to learn from other’s mistakes to save yourself from the consequences.
I, too, have questioned myself a lot. I think this has got to be my biggest challenge. Admittedly, I still haven’t gotten over this hurdle until this point. I have been so reliant on how others think of me and it has made me over-think more than usual or more than what is “acceptable”. Because of over-thinking, my moods are sometimes unpredictable and there are times when I have tantrums and start petty fights with some people who I don’t think gives me enough attention. I become sarcastic, give them the silent treatment or just simply act cold to them. And well.. that is unfair for them. They don’t deserve that and I shouldn’t demand for anything since nothing is really official. Sometimes I just feel that I’m being put on reserve but there are no perks to being this kind of reserve.
Expectations lead to disappointments but there are times where I really can’t help but expect or at least hope for it. And when it doesn’t happen, of course, it affects me. I try not to get affected a lot and so far, it has worked a little for me. I know I have to work more on this.
Don’t get me wrong.. I know I can control it but before, when I do try to distance my self a bit, I actually end up totally pushing people away and I am tired of pushing people away. I am not used to controlled distances. I don’t pretend. I am my usual self when I’m with other people and I want them to be like that too. I dislike barriers.
When I want you in my life, I want you close. And if I start to believe that we have to have some distance and that this friendship or any other type of relationship needs that, I almost always end up too guarded to even want you close. I am a clingy person and a person of extremes. I don’t know if that is bad but.. I think I should learn to adjust. Or maybe distance myself if I feel like they don’t want me in their life? It’s hard to find out but I think I can act based on how they treat me and how they make me feel when with them or not.
Anyway I think this post is becoming too emotional
I have been going out a lot compared to before. I am used to going home straight after my classes just because I want to skip the traffic when going home at a later time. Now, I often go to school earlier to have lunch with friends. Or stay after class for dinner. Or even call them when I suddenly have breaks between classes. I have also been on a road trip Manila-Laguna-Tagaytay-Manila just because we wanted too. Also, because of one of my classes, I have been to Bohol with my classmates and it is just a different type of bonding for us. We learned so much about one another and ourselves too. It was unforgettable.
After 10 years of having long hair, I’ve decided to cut it short (not super short but 7-8 inches have been removed). I now sport a bob. Why? Well.. they say that women cut their hair when they’ve experienced something extreme that is out of the usual – and usually in a negative way and yea.. maybe that happened to me too? It is still fresh for me and there are times (often) that I still remember what happened but all I can say is that it worked somehow. I don’t know how to explain it but it really worked.
All of that plus more happened in a span of 10 months. I cannot describe how much these experiences have changed my outlook on life. But though I am far from perfect and from my ideal self, I am ready to continue changing for the better. Baby steps maybe but these are still steps.
Faith. Patience. Focus.
Lastly, I have made the OC organizer in me work too. I have been monitoring my finances again, trying to find opportunities to invest on, planning my future travels, updating my goals and planning on how to achieve them. I’m gonna let this stage of my life be about strengthening my character.
P.S I have my own car already too! just 8 days ago 🙂 yay to more adventures and hole-in-the-wall places 🙂
PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS PHOTO ELSEWHERE. Hihi.
I guess you can tell by the title what this post will be about.
And yes, it is not misleading.
It is about family.
About my family in this case.
As a family, I can say that we are close when we are together and a little not-so-close when not.
I don’t mean literally okay!
It is just that when we’re together, we converse well but we don’t spend so much time with each other as we do before so we have less bonding moments now.
Usually when we get home, we go to our individual rooms and just go out again when it’s time to eat.
Sometimes we eat together at our veranda, sometimes we eat inside our rooms.
I know, I know….
A family should eat together but I don’t know how it started but we don’t eat at our dining table anymore.
When we are at the veranda, we use the foldable tables and monoblock chairs.
It has been like that for a long time now.
I woke up to a text this
Mom said that we should make house rules.
Rules for eating, bonding and the like.
My sister and I liked the idea.
Not only will it bring back the family time we used to have but it will impose discipline as well.
We plan to write down rules like eating together, 10PM curfew everyday unless you have a valid reason and things like family movie hours, studying time for the kids and also, a time for yourself.
I shall show you a brief outline on our house rules when they’re done.
How about you?
Do you have house rules too?
Today, I was supposed to pay my tuition fee at school then meet my cousin-K but since there was a change of plans, I ended up going straight to the mall.
As I waited for my cousin-K, Sami, the cousin of my cousin-B (another cousin) called me and said cousin-K invited her to join us for the day.
I waited for the both of them at the mall since I was unexpectedly early.
The first thing I did was go to National Bookstore.
I checked out some books and got some titles so that I can check them at the book sale since I really don’t have that much extra budget for books.
Searching for ebooks of those books were an option too!!
While I was on my way to the Book Sale store..
I was about to pass Bag Tag when I decided to stop.
Aside from my (travel) luggage having no form of identification, I think it is also a traveler (in the future) must-have!
I looked at their designs and had one made!
Here it is!
I have decided to get a cartoon design because I want my travels to be fun like it.
Though I already have one right now, I still want to purchase another one.
You’ll never know when you’ll be needing two or more pieces of luggage!
Think long-term travelling 🙂
Just after my bag tag was finished, my cousin came and met me at the stall.
We then went to Coffee Bean Tea & Leaf and chatted till the cousin of our cousin came.
When the cousin of our cousin came, we ordered our beverages, a slice of cake and my ever favorite Eggs Benedict!
I can vouch for their EggsBen!!
IT IS SOOOOOOO DELICIOUS!!!
After hours there, we went to Burger King and had fries and Hi-C.
We, again, chatted and chatted and took pictures to brag to our cousins^^
After which, we went to Smart Center to apply for a postpaid plan and met my sister there as well.
The cousin of our cousin needed to go home at around 8:30.
When she left, my sister, cousin and I went to the food court.
Aside from the usual chatting, we actually talked about travelling and guys!
We are planning a weekend getaway with our close cousins.
It is still not final but we are hoping it’ll push through.
Then we realized after all the planning that the three of us are really frustrated travellers – as of the moment.
There is something about travelling that we are hungry for.
And that we can cross mountains just for it.
Aside from the weekend getaway, we are eyeing to go to Coron in Palawan or even around South East Asia.
Thailand is the first one on our list!
How about you?
If given a chance, where would you wanna go next?
Yes, that’s me!!
Just last Sunday, April 7, 2013, I went to Rebublic Wakepark in Nuvali to wakeboard with my cousins.
It wasn’t really planned and we only talked about it online for a week.
Good thing that we were all up for the adventure.
We had so much fun – even though I must admit that I still wasn’t successful in completing the course.
We also had dinner together and just bonded for the whole day.
Two days have passed but my body is still sore but it is all worth it!
It is like that good kind of pain in my case.
We will definitely try wakeboarding again!
Try it too ^^