When do I usually write? I honestly write most of the time. It is just that when I experience extreme emotions, I write it on a piece of paper rather than type it. Think of it as saving myself from embarrassment and saving you from reading such things.
And maybe now you’re wondering what has happened to me these past months and why am I actually writing right now..
All I can say is that A LOT has happened. A LOT HAS CHANGED. From my college life to my social life to my bucket list, my travel experiences, my (love) life?? and even my haircut!!
These past months have been a roller coaster ride for me. I have experienced the most extreme emotions I have ever had EVER in my life. (I know, that’s redundant but I have to prove my point here!) These are not necessarily negative things but neither is everything positive.
It has been exactly 10 months since my last personal blog and though I cannot share with you everything that has happened because well.. I can’t remember everything or maybe I don’t want to remember everything? I’ll try and give you a jist of everything.
My views, values and morals have been challenged. My character was really tested because of the opportunities and situations that came my way. I am no superwoman but I believe that though that is the case, we still have the power to choose. It is important to never lose sight of yourself and the self that you want to be. At the end of the day, I think it will always boil down to “Did you do what you wanted to do but is within the “path” you want yourself to take? And while at it, did you not hurt any one with or without their knowledge?”. That’s a thought to ponder on.
Experience is the best teacher they say. But I believe too that prevention is better than cure. One need not experience everything for them to learn. It is best to learn from other’s mistakes to save yourself from the consequences.
I, too, have questioned myself a lot. I think this has got to be my biggest challenge. Admittedly, I still haven’t gotten over this hurdle until this point. I have been so reliant on how others think of me and it has made me over-think more than usual or more than what is “acceptable”. Because of over-thinking, my moods are sometimes unpredictable and there are times when I have tantrums and start petty fights with some people who I don’t think gives me enough attention. I become sarcastic, give them the silent treatment or just simply act cold to them. And well.. that is unfair for them. They don’t deserve that and I shouldn’t demand for anything since nothing is really official. Sometimes I just feel that I’m being put on reserve but there are no perks to being this kind of reserve.
Expectations lead to disappointments but there are times where I really can’t help but expect or at least hope for it. And when it doesn’t happen, of course, it affects me. I try not to get affected a lot and so far, it has worked a little for me. I know I have to work more on this.
Don’t get me wrong.. I know I can control it but before, when I do try to distance my self a bit, I actually end up totally pushing people away and I am tired of pushing people away. I am not used to controlled distances. I don’t pretend. I am my usual self when I’m with other people and I want them to be like that too. I dislike barriers.
When I want you in my life, I want you close. And if I start to believe that we have to have some distance and that this friendship or any other type of relationship needs that, I almost always end up too guarded to even want you close. I am a clingy person and a person of extremes. I don’t know if that is bad but.. I think I should learn to adjust. Or maybe distance myself if I feel like they don’t want me in their life? It’s hard to find out but I think I can act based on how they treat me and how they make me feel when with them or not.
Anyway I think this post is becoming too emotional
I have been going out a lot compared to before. I am used to going home straight after my classes just because I want to skip the traffic when going home at a later time. Now, I often go to school earlier to have lunch with friends. Or stay after class for dinner. Or even call them when I suddenly have breaks between classes. I have also been on a road trip Manila-Laguna-Tagaytay-Manila just because we wanted too. Also, because of one of my classes, I have been to Bohol with my classmates and it is just a different type of bonding for us. We learned so much about one another and ourselves too. It was unforgettable.
After 10 years of having long hair, I’ve decided to cut it short (not super short but 7-8 inches have been removed). I now sport a bob. Why? Well.. they say that women cut their hair when they’ve experienced something extreme that is out of the usual – and usually in a negative way and yea.. maybe that happened to me too? It is still fresh for me and there are times (often) that I still remember what happened but all I can say is that it worked somehow. I don’t know how to explain it but it really worked.
All of that plus more happened in a span of 10 months. I cannot describe how much these experiences have changed my outlook on life. But though I am far from perfect and from my ideal self, I am ready to continue changing for the better. Baby steps maybe but these are still steps.
Faith. Patience. Focus.
Lastly, I have made the OC organizer in me work too. I have been monitoring my finances again, trying to find opportunities to invest on, planning my future travels, updating my goals and planning on how to achieve them. I’m gonna let this stage of my life be about strengthening my character.
P.S I have my own car already too! just 8 days ago 🙂 yay to more adventures and hole-in-the-wall places 🙂
I honestly no know nothing about Brian Lee.
It just so happened that I was on StumbleUpon and I saw this article.
At that time, I was not really down or anything but rather bored – I guess.
It has been awhile since I last read this and now that I am reading it again, it is still as effective.
It motivates you to do those little changes and makes you understand how the world works.
It helped me see the world in another light – a brighter light.
I cannot guarantee that it will have the same effect to you as it did to me but rest assured, it will make a difference.
So here is the original article.
(Note: the text inside the parentheses – ( text ) – are written by me. It contains my personal opinions.)
10 Sentences that Can Change Your Life
By: Brian Lee
The power of a sentence is tremendous. A single destructive sentence can ruin somebody’s life, make your day, or change your mood. Fortunately, there are some sentences that can give us power to go on. We have sorted out 10 powerful sentences that can change your life for the better.
#1 “People aren’t against you; they are for themselves.”
(This, I believe, is so true.
Every person (I think) has asked himself or herself this: “Why does it seem like everyone or everything is against me” – or something similar to that.
What we fail to realize is that maybe they or the world isn’t really against us.
It is just that the right time hasn’t come for what you want to happen.
Also, when we ask help from someone, we shouldn’t expect them to help us always.
They have their own reasons and not everyone explains their side which makes us misunderstand them.
To be able to communicate effectively always is not possible.
This makes a room for misunderstandings and I think this is one thing all human beings must understand and continue to work on.)
#2 “Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world.”
(The world is such a big place and there is so much to learn from it.
One should strive not for fame or for material gain but for knowledge and experience.
Personally, as a self-proclaimed wanderer in my own way, this made so much sense.
I’m not sure on what was the original context behind the quote but I got to relate to this is by relating it to travel.
To climb mountains is to travel ; so you can see the world is to knowledge and experience.
Travel not for the sake of travelling but travel to experience other cultures and new things and from there, you’ll learn about life and the world as a whole.
*This is personally my favourite quote ✈ ♥ )
#3 “You learn more from failure than from success; don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character.”
#4 “The most dangerous risk of all – The risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later”
(I’ve written a post before about hesitation.)
#5 “Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.”
#6 “The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so you better try to make yourself as interesting as possible.”
#7 “If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.”
#8 “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing.. that’s why we recommend it daily.”
(Personally, when I feel down at times or when I just feel like it, I go into a “Law of Attraction mode”.
I do this to keep myself motivated and to continuously learn.
I admit that I am online most of the time because I am fond of researching about places and random things that interest me.
As a kind of person who easily gets bored of things (according to my friend—but it is kinda true), I really need constant update so as not to get bored.
When I get bored, I can be the laziest person alive.
So for me, this is really helpful.
When things get rough and you feel like there is no hope left, try going into the “Law of Attraction mode” by researching about what you currently want to attract into your life.
Doing it everyday is much better.)
#9 “Everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something”
(I think this has a connection with the first quote.
Every one is alike in some way.
So don’t feel down and lonely.)
#10 “Comfort is the enemy of achievement.”
(Once you are in your comfort zone, you are restricted.
Restricted in many ways.
So many ways that you miss the chance of improving yourself.
Again, the post I’ve written about hesitation is related to this.)
Life is all about adventures.
We should not be afraid to take risks because it is the only way we can enjoy life.
Recently, I’ve been coming across numerous articles about how one should live life or what one should do when presented with a situation.
For me though, I think only one thing is important..
and that is to do or continue doing what makes you happy or what you think will make you happy.
Immortality doesn’t exist.
No one knows when your time will be up.
Death is inevitable.
If you keep procrastinating, you may end up actually not doing it at all.
I am not scaring you or myself of death but let us be realistic.
You truly can never know.
Yes, it still depends on what you are currently – especially if you are already responsible for things like your own family – because you have to consider them in making decisions.
But do not let things like these hinder you from doing what you really want.
So while you are young and while you still can, seize the day.
Don’t let opportunities just pass by you.
Grab them and try your best.
If you live your life with regrets, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate fully the blessings that you have.