From the gazillion thoughts in my head about what I should start writing about..
I decided on writing about WANTS.
Everyone has a lot of wants in their lives.
No one is an exception.
From the star-crossed ones to the most wealthy people on the planet, no one is exempted.
That is just the way life works.
From their status to their hair style, there is always at least one thing a person wants to change or improve.
As for me, I have a lot of that.
From material things to my physical appearance, I always have something that I want to change.
I need not have the most recent and “cool” mobile phone but I really prefer a certain brand, Samsung.
Yes, my last purchase wasn’t Samsung *sigh* but I might have one around this month.
For my tablet, I am perfectly happy with my Samsung Galaxy Tablet 8.9 – P7300.
Saved up for it as a gift for myself on my 18th birthday which was a year and 6-7 months ago already.
I wish I can say that I have a camera and that I am very much contented with it but.. no.. I don’t have one.
As for how I look..
I think it is normal for most girls to feel insecure about their outward appearance one way or another but I believe life will be so much better if we learn to love ourselves for who we really are.
The first step? Declaration.
Admittedly, I am a very very insecure person.
Though it may not look like that most of the time because of my “I don’t care” facade, I really am.
I really am insecure about my weight.
From my childhood till I was in 2nd year high, I honestly have minimal problem related to weight gain.
I wasn’t the thinnest but my weight was just right.
But now.. I think I am nearing the end of my normal weight range.
For my binge eating, I know that I am to blame for the lack of self-control.
Second is my skin.
The sun exposure because of ACP (Aerospace Cadets of the Philippines), a mandatory program in my high school, caused the color of my skin to be uneven.
I really want to be fair like before!
Mosquitoes just love me for some reason.
Old folks say that because my blood is sweeter than usual, the smell is much more appetizing to insects.
Not that I have a lot of scars but when I wear shorts or skirts or dresses, if I’m not careful, I go home with mosquito bites.
My face.. is such a big insecurity for me.
I blame my acne on my genes.
Nuff said for that area.
Contrary to the ones I’ve stated, one thing I thank my genes for is my height.
I am not supermodel tall but compared to the average height of females here in the Philippines, being 5 foot and 6 inches is a blessing.
The second step? Acceptance.
I am trying to work on it by the help of books, God and by loving myself.
Work out not because you hate your body but because you love it.
Our wants in life reflect most of our insecurities and other short comings.
For one to fully love oneself and to be able to impart that kind of love to others requires accepting yourself as you and not as someone who you want yourself to be.
As for my journey towards loving myself as myself, I think I still have a long way to go but I think what is important is that I’ve already started.
How about you?
What are your insecurities?